Girl Scout Cookies Power Rankings

Throughout my childhood, from kindergarten until I was in about 9th grade, I was a Girl Scout and my favorite part of being one was definitely the cookie sales. The enterprise has definitely changed since my time (girls can sell cookies online now?!), but you can still be assured of finding a booth sale outside the local Kroger on any given weekend in March. By comparison, my troop tended to park in front of the local Blockbuster and target folks who were looking for some movie night munchies. It was a shrewd strategy, but totally Not a Thing anymore. Thanks, Netflix.

Anyway!

As a former Girl Scout and a connoisseur of cookies generally, along with being a sports fan, I decided to combine aspects of the two. Without further ado, I now present to you the Girl Scout cookies power ranking.

Please note that I live in an area served by Little Brownie Bakers and always have. I have no idea what the cookies from ABC Bakers taste like, but they all seem to have hilariously generic names. (If you’re not sure which bakery serves your area and you don’t have a box handy to check, take a look at this informative map from the LA Times.)

Photos via Girl Scouts.

1. Thin Mints

The undisputed champion. Truly the Wayne Gretzky of cookies. Measurably better tasting if you freeze them before eating.

2. Tagalongs

A nice smooth taste that answers the question of what would happen if you added a cookie base to a Reese’s cup. They are susceptible to melting in your hands, though.

3. S’mores

These are terrific! There seems to be an ideal mix of the three elements that compose a good s’more, unlike in certain interpretations of the treat where one thing takes too much of the spotlight. S’mores are only in third place because they have a premium price of $6 a box for some reason and that’s kinda pricey, even for Girl Scout cookies that all have a relatively premium price.

4. Do-Si-Dos

I already love both sandwich cookies and peanut butter–this cookie is just good thing on good thing!

5. Trefoils

Shortbread is delicious, that’s why. Plus, these are less popular, so they’re likely to be available at booth sales after they’ve run out of Thin Mints, Tagalongs and Samoas. (I’ve even found Trefoils available at Intown Ace Hardware during the cookie offseason.) Speaking of…

6. Samoas

I don’t like coconut! I try to kind of overlook that when it comes to Samoas because all the other parts of the cookie are entirely my thing, but the coconut’s presence just can’t help but spoil things for me.

Not Ranked

The following cookies are not ranked because, well, I’ve never tried them, so it’d be unfair to rank them alongside cookies I have tried. I’ll try to rank them in order of how tasty they sound to me based on their description, though.


NR. Thanks-A-Lot

I already said I like shortbread, and it’s clear I like chocolate, so the combination of the two surely has to be a winner! (I know, don’t call me Shirley.) Plus I think it’s cool that the cookies have the word for thanks in English, Spanish, French, Chinese and Swahili.


NR. Savannah Smiles

I like lemony wedding cookies like this one, though points are deducted for the untidiness that comes with the powdered sugar exterior.


NR. Trios

I like chocolate chips, peanut butter and oatmeal, therefore the combination of the 3 must be good, right? I am worried that it looks like it might be crumbly. Maybe not as crumbly as Nature’s Valley granola bars–but honestly, what is as crumbly as those?


NR. Toffee-Tastic

I want to like toffee, I really do. It’s basically just caramel, after all, and I like caramel. But the fact that toffee is often hard as a rock always puts me off. I already feel vaguely like I’m going to wreck my dental work by eating caramels and toffee just seems to heighten that fear for me.

Hungry yet? If you are and you don’t know where to go for your Girl Scout cookie fix, check out this cookie finder–definitely another thing that wasn’t around back in my day! Looks like I might need to pony up some cash and try the varieties I couldn’t rank, too.

Also hi, I guess I’m trying to revive this moribund blog?

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